The way you exist…

The way you exist always,
and are silent.
Letting me be a dolphin in the open sea.
The way I’m a paintbrush on your canvas,
painting and making noise on your white infinity.

Daylin Horruitiner

The night of my emotions

The night of my emotions arrives, and it’s a dark place. A space where demons battle to death for my soul, a space where no one else fits, I’m alone.

The night of my emotions feels right at home. A place of pain, where mystery reigns, where those who say they care, don’t; where those who said they’d come, won’t.

A place I furnish time and again, and over again I lose all gains.

Don’t pity me, you petty fool, don’t lecture me like I’m in school. Do not pretend you know the feeling, you have no clue regarding healing. The night of my emotions has arrived, I brace for impact, I may cry.
With every single breath I fight, my heart is injured, but I still try…
The night of my emotions runs me dry, but every night ends in the light.

Daylin Horruitiner

Limitless love

Their little faces, house the brightest smiles. Their eyes, constantly in wonder, in awe of their surroundings. Their spirit heals my sadness, their presence fuels my spirit. The more they grow, the more they become part of my fabric. It may sound weird, but eventhough I carried them each for 9 months in my body, I didn’t feel them as mine the first day, as I do today. Every day that goes by I discover new things about them, and I love them a little more. And just when I think I love them so much more than anything…I learn that I can love them even more. How is that even possible? The more I get to know them, the more I learn about myself. I see little me, I recall my fears, my likes, my questions, my dreams. And I relive how exciting it is to be happy with the simple things. I believe we come to life with a purpose…sometimes multiple. Motherhood has taught me that the most important task is to make sure they undersand they too have a purpose, and propell them to fulfill it. Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me mad, sometimes they make me cry,
but they always make me happy. There is a part of me that has found it’s purpose in motherhood, and gives me the courage to fight to fulfill the dreams I always had, even before they existed, and got forgotten along the way. I’m not sure I can love mote than this, my heart isn’t big enough, but they’ve shown me they can push the boundaries to allow me to see a limitless heart.

Silent

Just because I paused
and became silent,
doesn’t mean I gave up,
that would be way too violent,
I’m silent when I think,
I pause when I observe,
I don’t talk while I drink,
and wait for Karma to be served.

Daylin Horruitiner